Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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