my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
