but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
