she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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