I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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