no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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