It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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