I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
