i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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