the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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