Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
