What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
