dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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