Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
