It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
