At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dick has a subreddit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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