He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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