I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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