It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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