He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
