Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
