Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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