i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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