New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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