Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i would punch a child for taco bell
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
