So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize