it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
