Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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