a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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