You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
