If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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