so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
