i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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