I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
