Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
