So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
