don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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