i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
