Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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