Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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