cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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