There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
