I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
