I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
