problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
