with your own penis?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
