If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
