so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
