Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
