This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
