there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
